


Summertime Sadness

by casstayinmyass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Bisexual Harry Potter, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Cedric Is Oblivious, Childhood Memories, Coming of Age, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, F/M, Feelings Realization, First Love, Fluff, Godfather Remus Lupin, Godfather Sirius Black, Harry Potter was Raised by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, Harry-centric, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infatuation, M/M, Melancholy, One Shot, Puberty, Short & Sweet, Teen Crush, This Is Canon So Remember It's Not All Sunshine And Rainbows, Underage Kissing, Young Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 06:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: In the last week before Fourth Year, Harry is taken along on a camping trip with the Weasleys, along with Amos Diggory and his son, Cedric. Harry gets a little crush on a boy too old for him. Okay, not so little.





	Summertime Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Harry and Cedric so much okay they're such a pure pairing

Harry was glad to be doing something with the end of his summer other than sitting around and studying spells he should have been studying his previous year. He was accompanying the Weasleys to some forest he'd never heard of to do a little camping before the school year started, with Hermione along as well, and two people he had just been introduced to-- Amos and Cedric Diggory. Amos was a nice enough fellow, but it was Cedric that had really been on Harry's mind these past two days.

Cedric Diggory. Cedric. Diggory. Diggory.

Harry admired that last name. In fact, he admired just about everything about Cedric. Perhaps it was because he was four years older, and everything seems admirable about an older, stronger person than yourself... but the thing that tended to confuse Harry when he pondered this was, he didn't long to be Cedric. Not really.

Harry was fine with what he was. He was an average-looking, average mannered boy of an average (if not a bit short) height. Nothing overly dashing about him, but he wasn't ugly. He could do without the scar, and the fame maybe, but other than that, he was content with who he was. So... why did he spend so much time thinking about Cedric Diggory?

One day, it hit him. The group had been out for a hike in the woods, and Harry had been staring at the back of Cedric's head. His hair was slightly messy, but it always looked good that way. Harry couldn't imagine Cedric with perfectly combed hair... it just wouldn't fit. Now, thinking about the older boy's hair wasn't exactly the eureka moment-- this came a little later.

Harry had just gone fourteen, and fourteen year old boys were plagued with the onset of changes. Lots of changes. Changes Harry was sure Cedric had already gone through. 

"I'll get it," Cedric had grinned, looking up into the tree. Fred had fired off Ron's sleeping bag into the alder tree by their campsite, and Ron couldn't very well reach it, so Cedric, being the polite boy that he was, offered to climb for it.

Now, Harry couldn't think of a possible reason why Cedric had to take his shirt off to complete this task... but he found that he wasn't questioning it any longer once the garment was off. Rippling muscle, a light line of hair descending into his waistband, and Harry felt strange. He had only really felt like this sometimes upon waking up, not really as a result of any thoughts.

This was entirely different. This was immediately brought on by Cedric's gorgeous body. The Hufflepuff hopped down from the tree, passing Ron his bag with a blinding smile. Harry gazed at him, and when Cedric noticed, he blushed a little, his smile humbling a little.

"Harry?" Hermione frowned, nudging him, "Are you alright?"

Harry, not taking his eyes off of the majestic beauty of the boy before him, nodded dumbly. "Fine, Hermione. Just brilliant."

So, Harry liked boys.

But... no, that couldn't be right. He sighed to himself from inside his tent, listening to the river rush beside him and Hedwig hoot occasionally. He had liked girls since he was a kid! Of course, he had liked them-- they were fine to look at, and he would even consider some pretty, but nothing felt like this.

Well... his godparents were like this, weren't they? Sirius knew he liked boys since he was seven... Remus knew he liked boys when he fell in love with Sirius. Both of them had kissed girls and all before that.

Harry tried to think hard, going over all the girls he had had a crush on in the past. Then he compared them to Cedric. Then he reversed the process, and did it again. Why was this so complicated? If only Remus and Sirius were here to tell Harry what to do. Sirius would give him a good lengthy speech about following his heart... Remus would probably tell Harry never to have sex on a first date, then offer him some chocolate to avoid explaining what that would entail.

Sex... but Harry wasn't thinking about sex, was he?

Yes. Yes, he most definitely was. Harry imagined Cedric, older and probably very experienced, smiling that blinding smile, taking off his shirt and getting his hands all over--

" _Harry_?"

Harry jolted a little, trying to hide his boner. God, he hated his body sometimes.

"Uh... yeah?" he replied with a cough, and Ron nudged the flap open, giving him a sheepish look.

"Sorry to bother you, mate..."

"No," Harry cleared his throat again, and sat up, "No, it's fine. Come in."

Ron crawled into his best friend's tent, and Harry saw that he was carrying a blanket. "When Fred apparated my sleeping bag into that tree, a bunch of little spiders crawled in and made themselves at home... I was wondering if I could share your tent tonight. Y'know... just until mum can sort it out tomorrow."

Harry sighed slightly, and ran a hand through his matted hair.  "Yeah, of course, Ron."

"Thanks," Ron squeaked, and hurriedly closed the flap with a shudder. Harry lay there beside his friend, eyes wide open for another hour.

Cedric. Cedric Diggory. Diggory. Diggory.

* * *

 The next day was warm.

Everyone was preparing for a day down at the river, and Harry was looking forward to letting off a little steam in the chilly water. Fall was already setting in in the forest, and the river probably wasn't far behind in temperature.

As they all approached the water, Harry looked around. Cedric was over by the water already, while everyone else got themselves ready. He was just sitting there, admiring the way a flower was blooming with enraptured attention... Harry was jealous of the flower for a moment, then realized what he could do.

Tearing off his shirt and flexing his muscles, he slicked back his hair, and took a running leap headfirst into the river.

Coldcoldnotgoodcoldcoldbadideacoldcoldcoldfreezingicycoldcoldcold--

Harry felt strong hands grab him under the armpits, and drag him up to the bank. His eyes opened, and the wet strands of Cedric's hair dripped frigid water onto his face.

"Potter," Cedric said worriedly, "What were you doing?! This water's freezing, you don't just jump in!"

"N-no..." Harry shivered, "It's... it's n-not that b-b-bad. R-really."

Cedric raised an eyebrow, and Harry realized the position the other boy had taken. He was overtop of him, one leg thrown over Harry's torso and basically trapping him there. Harry decidedly liked this position.

"I think we need to get you a blanket," Cedric murmured. Harry took Cedric's arm, a bold move, but Harry was brave, and started to lean up... "What are you doing?"

Harry opened his eyes, and regarded Cedric's confused expression. This was how it went, right? This is how first kisses were supposed to go!

"I was..." Harry tried to explain, "I was just, um..."

Cedric tilted his head a little. Awkward silence fueled the tension between them as Harry just stared. Oh god, he wished he had drowned now. Suddenly, Hermione and Ron came running over with Molly and Arthur Weasley.

"Good gracious me, Harry, what's happened, sweetheart?!" Molly fussed, rushing forward, and Harry blushed hard, wishing she wouldn't baby him so much in front of Cedric. He was a man, not some little kid who just toppled into a puddle.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley," Harry shook off the attention, whipping his hair out of his eyes in a way that he hoped was attractive, "Just went for a dip."

"And what a dip it was," Cedric grinned, getting up with him, "You sure you're alright?"

Harry swooned a little, but kept a straight face. "For sure. Thanks." For that, he got a pat on the cheek (significantly less than he was hoping for), and George came up to him.

"You're a tough kid," he said. Harry felt an illogical streak of rage run through him at being called a kid. Cedric went back to his blooming flower. Damn that perfect flower.

That night, everyone sat around the picnic table, eating the food that everyone had pitched into making over the fire. Arthur had insisted they do it the "muggle way" because muggles knew how to pull a good camping trip. Halfway through the roasting though, everyone had agreed to go over Arthur's head and cast an Incendio spell, or they'd be having this for breakfast.

"Ah... it really was the perfect week to go camping," Amos said, eating a bite of the food. Arthur agreed, Molly raised a glass of pumpkin juice to it, and everyone nodded.

"It's nice before having to go back to school," Fred mentioned.

"Bloody hell, I'll say," Ron nodded, gulping down his pumpkin juice.

"I don't know... I'm rather looking forward to this year," Hermione piped up, "It's been too long since I've been to--"

"The library," Ron and Harry said at the same time, and Hermione sniffed.

"Well, yes." The three exchanged looks, and giggled together.

"It's Cedric's last year," Amos said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder, "I'm so proud of him."

Harry gazed wistfully. What will he do when Cedric doesn't go to Hogwarts anymore? Well, he's survived this far... but that was then, before he met the perfect specimen of a Hufflepuff.

"Hoping to keep up my grades this year," Cedric nodded with another humble smile, and Amos nodded.

"Well, no need to be shy about it, my boy! You're a very talented young wizard, prefect as well, I'm sure you will!" Harry had no doubt he would, either.

"It's a curious thing how he wasn't sorted into Gryffindor," Arthur mused.

"Oh not at all, really," Amos chuckled, "While Gryffindors can be found slaying dragons, Cedric here would much more likely be found studying the dragon's scales, wondering what kind of beast it is."

_On the topic of such things..._

"I killed a Basilisk."

Everyone looked down to Harry, who swallowed. Hermione nodded slowly.  

"We know, Harry."

Harry coughed, and nodded some more. Awkward silence. Forks clinking. Harry didn't dare look up. Cedric let out a small chuckle at Hermione's acknowledgement-- not a dismissive chuckle, but Harry took it as such. He quickly excused himself, tightening his fists, and disappeared into his tent.

Inside the tent, Harry punched his pillow, moping unapologetically. Maybe if he looked more like some of the other boys, Cedric would want him too. Maybe if he was taller, or had more muscles. Maybe if he did his hair a certain way, or wore different clothes. Remus did have a habit of dressing him like a 16th century professor, but if it were up to Sirius, Harry would look like a rock star reject. Just as he was beginning to wonder what he would look like with eyeliner and painted nails, there was a light rap on his tent.

Harry let out a huff, turning around. It was probably Ron, or even Ron's mother, come to see why he had made such a scene.

"Look, I'd like to be alone right now, okay?"

"Of course. I understand."

Harry whipped back around and undid the flap. "No! I'm sorry, I... I just meant..."

"If you'd rather be alone, I understand," Cedric smiled softly, but Harry adamantly shook his head.

"I'm in a chatty mood now, I think. Yeah."

Cedric ducked his head to get into the tent, and sat down beside Harry.

"Alright. So... tell me more about the Basilisk."

Harry looked up. "Really? But everyone's heard that story."

"I have to admit, I didn't pay much attention to it when it was floating around school. Now that I've met the man behind it, well... I simply have to hear it from him." Harry felt himself heat up with pride, (or maybe that was just the close proximity to his crush) and began to tell the story.

"You see... there was an awful serpent far below Hogwarts, locked away in a chamber."

"---very hard to find, but it was huge--"

"---had to be very quiet, or it would hear me--"

"---and then I swung the sword, killing the beast--"

"---saved Ginny, stabbed the diary, and died."

"You died?" Cedric raised his eyebrows at the end of the story.

"Well..." Harry muttered, "Almost. A phoenix healed me. But I could feel death's teeth _sinking_ into me, it was all terribly thrilling."

Cedric stared at him, wide eyed, genuinely taken by the story. "So that's what everyone was going on about..."

Harry blushed.

"...I can see why."

Harry blushed harder.

"Harry," Cedric began, placing a hand on his arm.

"Cedric," Harry interrupted, gulping. They were inches apart. "I have feelings for you. Big... feelings. Lots of... feelings. And, um... I feel them. Often. When I'm around you. Or I have, these past three days."

Cedric was smiling, as usual, but this was a quiet smile. A secret smile, only shared with Harry. "I know." _Brilliant_! Harry let out a breath, and began to take off his shirt, but felt Cedric's hands stalling his. "Wait, wait." Harry stopped, and immediately, everything came crashing down. His relief, his exhilaration, his surge of want, all turned into a cold sense of shame.

"God-- I've made quite a mess of things, haven't I? I've gone and muddled it all up..."

"No," Cedric told him, "No you haven't." Then he leaned forward, tugged Harry's shirt back over his stomach, and kissed him. Harry's heart pounded as he inhaled sharply, Cedric's lips sweet and soft over his own. Harry had never felt a kiss before, and it was weird, but nice, beautiful, but foreign, wet and sticky and perfect. Cedric's hand rested comfortably on Harry's abdomen, pressing to hold him and warming him up. Harry's hands found Cedric's messy hair, threading through it, and Cedric let him stay. After about a minute of this, the older boy parted, leaving only breath between them and Harry's searching blue eyes looking up into Cedric's kind grey ones.

"Was it everything you hoped it would be?" he asked gently, and Harry gazed at him, breathless.

"Better."

Cedric smiled, and tentatively hooked a finger under Harry's chin, stroking. "You've got lovely eyes. Another few years and you'll be just my type, Potter."

Connecting their foreheads and pressing one more kiss to the corner of Harry's lips, Cedric bid him goodnight and left his tent. Too high on the feeling to care about being left alone, Harry flopped back onto his sleeping bag, grinning hazily with carefree happiness.

He had just been kissed by Cedric Diggory. Nothing could beat this feeling, not even getting on a broom for the first time. The most popular, beautiful boy in Hogwarts-- no, the world!-- had just kissed him.

Harry flipped over, dug in his bag, and began to write a letter.

* * *

 

 

>           _Dear Sirius & Remus,_
> 
> _I've found it. Love. It's the most magnificent thing. I never want to stop thinking about him. He's wonderful. He won't like me back for a few years yet I think, but that's okay. I can wait, and maybe cut my hair a little, to show my eyes more. He said he liked my eyes... I never thought they were anything special, but it seems they are indeed! Also, why didn't you tell me kissing felt so strange? It was like sucking on a frog-- a pleasant frog, but a frog nonetheless-- and it wasn't slimy per-say, but it was significantly more so than I had imagined... do you think Cedric will ask me to the Yule Ball, or will he be too embarrassed?_

A grown up Harry smiled to himself, reading over the rest of the letter in his hands. The ink had faded over time, just as the sensation of the kiss had, but he could still feel the excitement lifting off the page as if he had just written the words minutes ago.  

He hadn't sent it to his now dead godparents, and Sirius and Remus had never known Harry's very first love before they each left this world too soon. Only Harry had... only Cedric had.

A creak behind Harry caused him to turn.

"What's that there, love?" Ginny asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. Harry looked down at the letter, folding it back up.

"Just a note to myself. I wrote it years ago, never thought I'd find it again."

The youngest Weasley smiled at him. She was pretty. She would always be pretty. Ginny held out a hand. "Little Albus wants to go for a walk by the river. You up for it?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, wondering if the water would be as cold as that summer day, "I'm up for it."

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments!


End file.
